The joy of being alone.

I had written quite a while ago about how I absolutely loved my trip to Melbourne as a solo traveller. K did not come with me on that trip and even though I stayed with a very dear senior from university, I did much of the “exploring and learning and excessive eating” on my own. I loved it. So much.

Anyway, this post isn’t about the joy of travelling alone – that is indisputable if you ask me. Rather, this post is about the happiness of being alone. For short periods. Long periods. Whatever.

When I hear people telling me how much they hate being alone, or rather, fast-track a relationship out of fear that they maybe alone, I have always wondered why that happens. Am sure there are several reasons and I totally respect that. But this story is about how being alone is not a sad thing for me anymore.

K has been travelling quite a bit this year. He travels to different parts of North America every month and each trip lasts anywhere between 8 to 15 days. That means, am alone for that period of time. My brother does visit me for a few days but then for the rest of the time, am alone. If you had asked me a year ago if I would be okay with this, I would have laughed you off. I was so selfish that I did not encourage K to take a really nice job (not going to define that) that involved a lot of travelling (in hindsight, it was a good move but my intentions at that time weren’t).

Fast forward to now, I have begun to learn to enjoy the time by myself – being alone, eating alone, taking myself on little “dates” alone, waking up alone and then just making coffee in one mug and just thinking of the day ahead. Amidst all of this, I have learnt to like myself better, know a bit more about myself and most importantly try something outside my comfort zone. I have grown (or so I ‘d like to believe), have found excitement in the most mundane of things, have dreamt of unimaginable stuff and overcome the urge to call home at the slightest instant. I have becomes a bit more of a risk-taker. I have pondered and enjoyed the blanks in the evenings. In those times, I have doodled, read, guiltily indulged in work late-nights, thought of fun stuff to send to my parents to read/watch, written letters to K on absolutely nothing and yet running into pages, thought of my research from different angles, pretending to think of something deep but ending up watched movies like “Main Prem ki Diwani Hoon”. These periods have given me such brilliant clarity at times and made me laugh at myself for being so dimwitted as to not see it right through.

I don’t know if all this happened with effort because I simply don’t remember investing any. It just happened. There was one really long trip of 3 weeks in April when K was away and one of those mornings it happened. I wish I could tell you a grand story but there isn’t any. I guess I learnt to make peace and enjoy the time. And that is a big thing because I like to do my own thing but have people around me all the same.

What is even more surprising is that I choose to be alone. I have a fantastic team here, stay on the university campus and so there are always people around and yet, I choose to spend time by myself. Every time I tell K how much fun am having, he makes a massive mock puppy-face at how I could not miss him and feel all lonely.

This may sound preachy but being alone is nothing about being being afraid or sad or bored. It is about spending time with the most special person in your life – you. It doesn’t have to be an extraordinary experience always. If you haven’t found that happiness of being alone yet, look out for it and maybe even make an effort to find it – I assure you, you’ll be blown away.

 

 

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13 comments

  1. Destination Infinity · September 23, 2016

    I enjoy being with myself. It’s easily the best thing in the world. But people may be required to re-realize the fun of loneliness that we sometimes tend to take for granted 😛

    Destination Infinity

    • kismitoffeebar · September 23, 2016

      I now whole-heartedly agree with you DI 🙂 I guess it is sort of an acquired taste for some?

  2. Disha · September 24, 2016

    Loved the write up. A new outlook towards solitude.

    • kismitoffeebar · September 24, 2016

      Hi Disha! 🙂

      Thank you. Solitude is never always loneliness no?

  3. Bikramjit · September 24, 2016

    I can vouch . the last 3 years have been BLISS I tell you, almost out of touch of everyone .. and believe me i have enjoyed it , no more tensions family or others .. solitude is a bliss indeed one just needs to love it 🙂

    I have started to smile more I think.. and am loving the colour blue.. again .. 🙂

    • kismitoffeebar · September 24, 2016

      I understand Bikram.. I still am in a greta deal of touch with family and cousins, but even this staying alone for brief moments has been a pleasant surprise for me.
      You reflect more and try to understand the person you have been/are and where you want to go.. it is such a liberating feeling!

  4. Anil Kulkarni · September 27, 2016

    If you feel Lonely, when you are alone, Then you are in bad company. Isn’t it? Travelling alone or spending some time alone gives that time to introspect and explore yourself more. I hope you enjoy another trip with K as well 🙂

    • kismitoffeebar · September 27, 2016

      Hi Anil and a warm welcome ! 🙂
      That’s true, what you said about introspection and exploring – I really have discovered more to myself. Thank you 🙂

  5. BlogAdda (@blogadda) · September 28, 2016

    Share your contact, name and address details with us on bavity@blogadda.com. We need to ship #MiamiBlues sunglasses to you for winning #SpicyPicks for this blogpost.

    • kismitoffeebar · September 29, 2016

      Wow! Thank you Blogadda – so so unexpected and what a pleasant surprise 🙂 I have sent my details to the email address.

  6. Pingback: A pleasant surprise | Kismitoffeebar

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